Hopefully this page reaches any lost souls before they realize that problems pass, and that one can allay the difficulties they experience in life. Growth, recovery, cultivation, and all manners of moving forward positively can be right around the corner.

If this page reaches and saves one person, it will have succeeded.

If anyone is in great danger of committing suicide, here are a few simple steps to immediately complete.

  1. Leave your computer as is
  2. Pick up a phone
  3. Dial 9-11
  4. Tell them about it, including name and address
  5. Do everything you can to ensure safety
  6. When the ambulance or police car shows up, it’s out of your hands

There are a limitless number of reasons that people feel suicidal. Here are a few to watch out for…

  • A cruel family atmosphere
  • Lack of friends, or people to talk to
  • Being overworked
  • Being undernourished

More signs:

If you know of anyone that displays these traits, they may be in danger.

Here we have some risk factors:

People immersed in thoughts and feelings of suicide…

  • Generally are desensitized to feelings and thoughts of pain and death
  • Think that they are an unfair burden on the living
  • Feel deeply and significantly disconnected with human society overall

Food for thought…

Suicide and depression go hand in hand.

Personally, I don’t think it’s right to lock people up for being suicidal. I would rather they be engaged in discussion to get to the core of their issues, and instilled with a new sense of life. When someone becomes an inpatient of the mental hygiene (psych) ward, they have the opportunity to do this. The “talk them out of it” still has suicide as a risk.

On the psych ward, conditions are usually kept so that individuals bond with others both informally in spontaneous conversation, and formally, through groups. The great majority tend to be rapidly stabilized, but with that comes a certain amount of mental growing pains.

In the past, mental health hospitals kept people for a long time. These days, it’s rarely legal to keep patients for more than 15 days. Almost everyone gets to leave within two weeks. The average stay for acute (short-stay) mental health hospitalization is about a week. One leaves when they are completely stabilized. They will have a greater understanding of their illness, what it takes to fully recover, and a greater acceptance of their fellow human beings.

By law, hospitals must accept anyone who’s suicidal. Payment is almost never an issue.

Remember: suicide is a permanent solution to a problem that can be managed enough to have one lead a happy life

If someone has suicidal feelings and thoughts, but they aren’t at this point severe, please continue.

  1. Try not to be commanding. Speak in a compassionate and objective manner. Don’t tell them what they “must” do. Work around the edges a bit.
    1. For example, avoid stating that “You really need to take a break from your mind and go to a movie.”
    2. Instead, offer that “perhaps there are a few things that will make you feel a bit more comfortable. A movie? A good book?”
    3. The idea here is to be a helpful spirit. Anyone can give orders.
  2. Focus on their circumstances, and what they must be feeling. as a result. Do not downplay their suffering. Try to put yourself in their shoes. If they are blatantly wrong about something, don’t make them feel worse by putting it out there. There must be a warm conversation, not a intellectual argument. For example, they might say that all of their neighbors are racist because they are black and live in a community of white people.
    1. An unhelpful response would be “Have you actually met everyone in your neighborhood for an appreciable amount of time?”
    2. A better one would be along the lines of “I can’t imagine how horrible that must feel like.”
  3. Cross the divide to reach them. You must show willingness to validate them as a human by getting as close as possible to their position. You can’t necessarily move the, but you can show them that you care enough to try to find them.
    1. Ask how they are feeling, without offering examples
    2. Open-ended questions are great
    3. Putting their words in a different manner and them asking them if they’re right will help your understanding of them, and give you a better idea of where they stand
    4. A non-judgmental, beneficent ear is what is needed, even in the face of being told of great evil act

This is not to disavow the negative feelings that people struggle with. It’s more to communicate that, though they might not show it, every person is loved by at least a few people. We’re so social, and quite interconnected. Counter to the false belief that people would do better without someone alive, people would in actuality have to live their lives with the crushing emotional burden of the deceased. Perhaps the truly sad factor is that, at this point, it becomes much more difficult to work through this negativity, as it originated from the travails of another whom is not alive to state why and how they became burdened with such dismay.

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK). Free of charge, there are supportive, trained people available at any time of the day or night. They will listen with open ears. They value your well-being.

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline website also offers  links to a variety of organizations on suicide, and on mental health in general.

All people have struggles. People become suicidal when they think they’re trapped by something that they truly think will never get better. Whatever the reason, feelings of suicide are very serious. They are to be taken seriously. Recovery involves solving the issue(s) that originally lead to the suicidality.

Is suicide ethically wrong? I don’t have an opinion on that. But I have felt suicidal before, multiple times. I don’t anymore. That’s not to say I don’t feel bad from time to time. All of us go through low periods.

Sometimes, we wake up, and the first thought that crosses our minds is, “Is this really my life?” Sometimes we feel so distant from other people, that it seems pointless to even try to help people understand where we are. Sometimes we wonder if things would be better if we didn’t exist. These are valid experiences. But they can become dangerous. People who grapple with these kind of questions too often, deserve help.

Here are a few possible starting points

  • Doing a good deed (mitzvah) for another person or being
  • Volunteering, doing community service
  • Going for a light jog
  • Listening to uplifting music
  • Doing some breathing exercises or meditation
  • Eating a comfort food
  • Feeling out the physical and mental connections between us and our surroundings
  • Brainstorming our positive and negative similarities with other people
  • Taking some time to recognize what we’re grateful for

Sources: Ben Komor, Ron Schoneman, https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org, http://cdn.healthyplace.com.s3.amazonaws.com/images/stories/insight/quotes/mental-health, http://cdn.healthyplace.com.s3.amazonaws.com/images/stories/insight/quotes/quote-on-mental-health-97-healthyplace.jpg?javer=1704081054, http://cdn.healthyplace.com.s3.amazonaws.com/images/stories/insight/quotes/quote-on-mental-health-84-healthyplace.jpg?javer=1704081054