After recovering from lymphoma, my troubles weren’t at all gone. I had developed a fairly strong connection to the drugs they gave me. Codeine was prescribed to deal with the pain of chemotherapy. I took 60mg every four hours (roughly equivalent to 54mg of morphine per day). Thus, at age 12, before I reached my teenage years, I became an opiate addict.

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It took a good half year to feel decently happy again.

Yet, I ruined it by over-indulging in alcohol, which roughly began halfway through eighth grade. I grew arrogant, nasty, mean, and utterly dependent.

I was forced to withdraw when I went to sleep-away camp that summer.

When I got back, I re-discovered my opiate vice, taking opportunities to use them (largely whenever possible). I limited my dose to the weekend, but if something hadn’t happened soon, I would have developed into a full-blown addict.

That something came, in the form of pot. My use and my failure at school were not coincidental. I was so very disconnected and disenchanted. I endured a lot of hazing as a freshman.

The next year saw me taking psychiatric medication for the first time to deal with depression that very well may have been caused by drug use. It got me high, a symptom of bipolar disorder, but I didn’t care because i felt good in the moment.

In December of that year, I started smoking pot daily. My use rapidly increased after I was treating poorly by the first female I had a relationship with, pushing down and my problems. I was terribly mistreated. I was too smitten to realize that this individual was not only extremely promiscuous, but that they would gravitate toward men and make them think that she genuinely cared about them. Then, she’d throw them away just as fast.

So, did this increase my use of pot? Yes. However, there had been other things that happened in the past. Suffice to say, THC and the growing brain is very unhealthy.

Apart from opiates, at times I was addicted to stimulants, alcohol and benzodiazepines. Many more were experimented with.

I can proudly state that I’m coming up to four years of complete sobriety. This means not a drink, not a toke, just my medication, caffeine, and some nicotine. But, I don’t smoke anymore. I quit smoking on August 19th, 2018.